Conflict as a Portal

A Place of Opportunity

Conflict offers an acute and direct opportunity for masks to come down and the most authentic and protected parts of us to be laid bare.

By “us” I mean:

Us, as individuals.

Us, as a couple or polycule as a unit.

Us, as a group, family unit, or organization as a single, collective nervous system.

Uncertainty. Real or perceived danger. Loss of control. Exhaustion. Unmet needs. Grief.

These are the moments, the sites, where our shields reveal themselves. They can generate opportunities for recovery, deepened trust, or for a wounded version of us to finally speak, with practice.

We are so accustomed to hardening up to ourselves and others when we sense pain approaching. Without the tools to slow down time and stay in discomfort a bit longer, we miss these opportunities to know ourselves more deeply. Some of us leave this physical plane having left much of ourselves untouched, untended to, unspoken to.

There are parts of our individual healing and growth journeys that can only be accessed in relational contexts. If you are in relationship with someone and there is potential for conflict to surface, you are blessed.

What becomes possible if…

We respond to fear as the awakening of a hidden part of ourselves - instead of the full story about someone else?

We communicate and listen like the next moment measures the true value of our relationships, moreso than reaching a well curated destination?

We become curious about our insistence on “being right?”

We believe we are more than the harms that we’ve caused and the harms we’ve endured?

We trust our own growth and integrity enough to allow others’ stories about us exist?

Practice Looks Like

  • Recognizing our defenses (and naming them to others)

  • Staying curious when we feel discomfort

  • Releasing perfectionism and valuing willingness

  • Experiencing vulnerability as a strength (they tried to keep this from us)

  • Direct and compassionate communication

  • Moving at the speed of trust

  • Generative Conflict for Companions, Comrades, and Collectives (An Eight Week Series)

  • Relationship Coaching (For Couples, Polycules, Family, Platonic Kin)

  • Collective Capacity building and Repair (For Organizations, Collectives, tEAMS)

Ways I Hold Conflict Practice Spaces

In Prior PARTICIPANTS’ WORDS:

  • “Really appreciated the space to look at my relationship to vengeance and where it's rooted. I appreciate the shared suggestions on how to create space when activated as that's always been a hard one for me.”

  • “This series helped expand my view of what is possible in conflict. I have been able to integrate the learnings in my interpersonal conflicts and practice in real time. It's been grounding to return to a framework that resonates with how I want to move through conflict. This supported me in understanding my own rhythms in conflict, seeing where I am in tune and out, and inviting the space for practice even when discomfort arises.”

  • “Your facilitation is always, and in all ways, ridiculously mind-blowingly, heart-explodingly generative.”

  • “This was exactly what I needed! I would love to share with others! I loved the sentence stems for generative conflict! Similar to other communication work I've done but went more deep. Thank you is not enough to express my gratitude! Love!”

  • “Getting opportunities to learn from our practice in real-time with people that I have less baggage with than the conflicts I have outside of this group has been extremely valuable. I have seen how these practices have already made a difference in the way I show up in conflict even in these few short weeks, and I'm excited to continue to use them going forward.”

  • “I've grown in my capacity to hold discomfort and conflict. I feel that I can achieve a sense of belonging alongside conflict towards building a more authentic community.”

cURIOUS? rEADY?

Book a consultation

Questions? lET’S cHAT!

Contact Me